the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
