It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Randomize
