Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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