he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
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