Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
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