What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
Randomize