is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
Randomize
