You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
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