I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
Randomize
