the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
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