At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
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