whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
Randomize
