pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
i think i just naturally attract stoners
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
Randomize
