we have officially lost it.
I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
Randomize
