bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
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