I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
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