Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Randomize
