She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
Threesome in a minivan. New low
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
Randomize
