I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
Randomize