I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
Randomize
