ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
