there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Randomize
