I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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