btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Randomize
