don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
Randomize