Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
Randomize
