i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
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