What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
