Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Randomize
