also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
Randomize
