dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
Randomize