i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize
