it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
I wear drunk well.
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Randomize