Do vagina's smell?
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
Randomize
