You're completely useless in the revolution.
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
He turned down a handjob. A HANDJOB. I know I'm no Jessica Simpson, but...
Actually, she's fat now, so...
Fuck. I AM Jessica Simpson.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
PANTIES FOUND
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