if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
