remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
Randomize