i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
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