Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
I don't deserve a penis
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
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