Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
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