Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
Porn is love you can see.
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
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