shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
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