I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
just come out here and I will go home with you...
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
