Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
I love having hate sex.
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
ttyl tear gas
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
