I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
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