Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
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