yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
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