That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
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