I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
I wish they made helmets for livers.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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