I'll bet she douches with gravy.
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
Randomize
