I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
Randomize