you guys were way drunker than both of me
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
Randomize
