I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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