There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
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