I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
Randomize
