You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
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