I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
high people should be assigned attendants
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
Randomize
