He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
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