Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize