Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
Randomize
