Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
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