it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
