i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
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