While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
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