Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
Randomize
