blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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