just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
Randomize
