Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
Drunk is a universal language darling
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
Randomize
