He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Randomize
