(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
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